Please note a sensitivity alert: This story involves the topics of stillbirth and infant loss.
Special thanks to guest author, Victoria Fonville, MS, PhD Candidate – Department of Nutrition, University of North Carolina Greensboro
One of the most tragic events a mother can face is the loss of her baby. When a baby dies, whether it is a miscarriage, stillbirth, or happens after birth, there is deep sorrow and grief that mothers experience. Some bereaved mothers may develop depression, PTSD-like symptoms or complicated grief. The last thing on most of these mothers’ minds is lactation.
However, many bereaved mothers will produce milk, even in the absence of an infant to feed. The first stage of lactation can begin as early as 16 weeks’ gestation.
A mother who has a miscarriage may experience the onset of milk production, which can be startling and distressing during an already heartbreaking experience. Lactation after infant loss, or bereavement lactation, is seldom the topic that is at the forefront of everyone’s minds, but every day there are mothers who are facing the difficulties of bereavement lactation. It is important that we understand their experience and needs. That is why Dr. Maryanne Perrin and I conducted our scoping review of the current scientific literature.1 Two scientific databases were searched for studies concerning lactation during bereavement with the goal of exploring what is known about the lactation experiences of mothers and their support providers during periods of bereavement after a perinatal loss
We found that lactation support during bereavement was lacking in many of the studies. Following infant loss, many bereaved mothers were only offered the option to suppress their milk supply, either with medication or naturally. While this option was helpful for some mothers, for others it was traumatic. They felt like drying up their milk was literally drying up the last connection they had to their baby.
Many bereaved mothers expressed the desire to be offered more lactation options by healthcare providers. However, healthcare providers reported feeling unequipped to offer lactation support to a bereaved mother and were uncomfortable about discussing lactation after infant loss. This discomfort stemmed from a lack of education given to healthcare providers on the topic of bereavement lactation, as well as the suggestion that many healthcare facilities lacked standardized guidelines for lactation care during bereavement. Despite this lack of adequate lactation support, many bereaved mothers still chose to continue producing milk.
It was clear in multiple studies that expressing milk provided a tangible connection between a mother and the baby she lost. Mothers described expressing milk as a time for them to process their grief and heal.
When bereaved mothers donated their milk to a human milk bank, they described the donation process as a redemption of their tragedy. Through providing milk for other infants who did not have access to their own mother’s milk, bereaved mothers were able to re-affirm their maternal identity because their body was doing what it was meant to do for their own child. Milk donation also allowed bereaved mothers to reconstruct their baby’s life as that of a savior who is providing life-saving milk that was meant for them if they had lived.
Human milk banks have been setting a precedent for providing lactation resources and support for bereaved families. Through The Milk Bank’s Bereavement Program, they provide free lactation support for bereaved mothers. While The Milk Bank and many others are paving the way to increase support for bereaved families, our scoping review revealed a major lack of quantitative data characterizing lactation care and human milk donation during bereavement.
Lactation suppression may be the most helpful lactation option for some bereaved mothers, but continuing to express and donate milk can have a powerful impact on the healing journey of mothers following infant death. Healthcare providers are uniquely positioned to provide expert lactation care and resources to bereaved mothers. Further studies are warranted to address the current knowledge gaps on bereavement lactation so sensitive and appropriate bereavement lactation care guidelines can be developed and implemented in the healthcare setting and every bereaved mother is enabled to choose the lactation path that best supports her grieving process and honors the memory of her baby.
References Fonville V, Perrin M. Lactation During Perinatal Bereavement From the Perspective of Families and Support Providers: A Scoping Review. J Hum Lact. 2026;42(1):49-62. doi:10.1177/08903344251389584
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Interested in lactation after loss, learn more about bereavement supports
